


Therapy

by meikahidenori



Category: Beyblade
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a script fiction and an oldie too. something really silly just for kicks. my original fiction can be found posted here on devainart: http://meikahidenori.deviantart.com/art/Therapy-31852166</p><p>does involve swearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Therapy

Therapist: Dr. Theodore Stanton

Session started aprox: 10:15PM.

Kai: why am I here?

Therapist: you’re here to discuss you problems like everyone else.

Kai: I can see that, but WHY am I here?

Ray: shut up Kai. You’re an idiot.

Tyson: is this one of those bits in the movies where the good guy stands up and says, “Hi my name is Tyson and I’m an alcoholic?”

Max: *glares at Tyson* put a sock in it.

Ray: yeah, you talk too much crap.

Max: no wonder we all hate you.

Therapist: now there’s no need for that boys. *turns back to Kai* now Kai, I want you to answer your own question “Why are you here?”

Kai: because I was forced to against my will. *glares at his team mates*

Therapist: I see. And tell me, why are you here Ray?

Ray: well, to be totally honest doc, lately I've been obsessed with stalking and eating pigeons.

Max: *counts on his fingers* as well as eating ferret burgers, rat paste sandwiches, ripping up furniture, putting rotting fish in clean clothes and urinating on carpets.

Ray: *snaps back* It's called "incontinence," DAMN IT!

Max: Yeah and there's also this THING called a "TOILET" which must be foreign for you since you PISS ON CARPETS!

*Therapist's note: Ray: believes he is a cat… and has a urinating problem. Max: might need anger management.*

Therapist: how long has this been going on for?

Max: several months.. *glares at Ray daring him to add something*

Kai: and if I see another dead bird in my sleeping bags, I'll kick his hide!

*despite himself, Tyson laughs. The dead birds was his idea.. not Rays… but why tell Kai that and spoil the fun?*

Therapist: this happens often? *raises eyebrows*

Max & Kai: YES

*Tyson is getting bored. No one is paying any attention to him. He begins to fiddle with other things in the room until he finds an ash tray…*

Tyson: *throws ash into the air* IT'S SNOWING!!!

*Max sighs and taps the arm of the chair in the way someone does to control the urge to strangle someone*

Therapist: *writes: Tyson: attention seeker* So, Tyson… Tyson…TYSON! *Tyson: attention span of a gold fish and matching intelligence* TYSON!

*Tyson stops and stares like a cow looking at an oncoming train*

WHY, against all reason of you existence, are you here?

Tyson: Well… I'm here because people think I don't shut up. They say when I start talking, I never stop. I don't understand why they think that. It's not as if I LIKE to talk about myself and I don't like the SOUND of my OWN voice, it's just that I think that they are all a bunch of meanies who couldn't give a rats arse about me… ME! The major character! If it wasn't for me THERE WOULD BE NO SHOW, YOU UNGREATFULL ARSE HOLES!

*as Tyson continues to be a hypocrite, Max has an Iron expression and has ripped the limbs off the chair, Kai has his fingers in his ears and is rocking back and forward singing songs about Swiss cheese. The therapist is wondering which will crack first*

Max: Excuse me for a second Doc, can I use that roll of masking tape? *therapist hands him the tape* Thank you sir… Ray? Would you be so kind to PIN Tyson to his chair for me?

Ray: *grins evilly* S-U-R-E Max…

*ten minutes and a roll of masking tape later*

Max: *leans over Tyson who's bound in masking tape* you do know I can be a right royal BARSTARD if you continue with you delusional prattle by stapling the masking tape to your face, but if you prove me wrong… then that extreme won't be necessary and we can all go back to being "CHUMS", alright?

*Tyson nods*

Therapist: well now that ever… *Kai is still rocking back and forth in his chair* almost everything is back to normal we shall continue. Why are you here Max?

Max: *takes on glance at his dysfunctional team mates and sighs* oh gee I dunno… you tell me? I'm here 'cause Tyson is a self centred little twat, Ray is a disgusting excuse for a human being and Kai has lost his marbles and I'm SO DAMN STRESSED BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M JUST THE SHIT KICKER STUPID BLONDE WHO LOOKS CUTE!

Therapist: does this bother you?

Max: Fuck it does.

Therapist: well your problem, mister Mizuharu can be easily fixed.

Max: I have already thought about killing them… hasn't worked

Therapist: *eyes Max oddly then continues* I'm going to prescribe you a holiday, first class… all expenses paid

Max: and what about them?

Therapist: *waves hand dismissively* nothing a few months in a mental home can't fix.

Max: thanks doc. *takes his holiday prescription and leaves, feeling as if the world has just been taken of his shoulders. Ten minutes later 6 men in white coats come to retrieve Tyson (who's still masking taped to the chair) Ray and Kai*

Session close 1:45AM

End


End file.
